I was scared.
I was also frustrated by a series of false starts I'd been experiencing with addressing my well-being. Carrying around too many extra pounds, I was suffering from high blood pressure, Diabetes 2, and a hopelessness that had reached a low I don't even want to remember. The day before I didn’t even have the energy to get up off the couch to go downstairs to eat Thanksgiving dinner with my family.
And it was all my fault. The previous eight years I had carried the startup company I'd founded on my back, with all of the stress, and financial uncertainty that goes with it. Succeeding at all costs was the only way I knew to work and, along the way, I hadn’t just set aside taking care of my self, I avoided it. Sacrifice, compromise, I gave up everything that was important to me to meet everyone else’s expectations. Customers, employees, and family were counting on me. And the investors? I literally owed them. I hadn't found a way to make it work so that my company would be a win for everybody and it was taking a toll on my well-being.
My doctor had told me three times that I was putting my life in jeopardy. But in my head I kept thinking,“I’m alright” even when I was 40, 60, and eventually 100 pounds overweight. I thought I was bulletproof. Whatever weight I gained or pain I was feeling would be quickly rectified “next week” or after I “finish this last thing.” Any mental suffering was quickly met with a self-flogging “suck it up”.
So yeah, I felt like shit.
Then I got the email from Skinny Tire Events.
And I remembered…I had been an athlete all my life. I had played high school football, baseball, and basketball, played intramural sports in college, and throughout most of my adult life I kept active cycling, skiing, hiking, and eventually racing Ironman on three continents.
I don’t even know how to explain what it was about the timing of this email — which I’d been receiving and dismissing for several years— that struck a nerve and inspired me. I began to visualize it. I saw myself riding there. It hit me hard. For the first time in a long time, I missed it.
Skinny Tire Events is based out of Moab, Utah and its founders, locals Mark and Beth are as noteworthy as the town. Mark started a bike ride to honor his brother who had passed away from cancer and, and since starting over 20 years ago, they have raised more than $5M for cancer research.
Moab is better known for horseback riding and mountain biking than road cycling but the same scenery that makes it a go-to for Western films and national park visitors, makes for an amazing experience riding the roads that wind through its canyons. Talk about inspiring.
Was this still possible for me?
Could I get back on my bike and, in just 4 months, take on this four-day event? Ride over180 miles with 10,000 vertical feet of climbing? The old me could do it. Hell, I had ridden this event twice while raising money in memory of my mom.
But could THIS guy? Could the mid-life, no longer bulletproof person I was right now? There was an unimaginable amount of work to do to get back there. But there was a spark, a fleeting feeling of the athlete I used to be.
I began to see myself manifesting a massive transformation.
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